Then again, it's just a phone call
by Psychogoth
Summary: Just some phone drabbles between our favorite hetalia pairings. Ever wonder what their conversations are like? We'll see. Some might be perverted, some might be lighthearted. For now, I'll keep it in T. Just in case. UPDATED ALMOST WEEKLY. Almost.
1. America and England

**Title : **Then again, it's just a phone call

**Ratings: **May go up to M. I suggest you wait till I raise the ratings.

**Summary : **Just some phone drabbles between our favorite hetalia pairings. Ever wonder what they're conversations are like? We'll see. Some might be perverted, some might be lighthearted. For now, I'll keep it in T. Just in case.

**A/N : **I know I'm in the middle of my Cinderella Boy project but I so totally can't help myself from not doing this. Anyway, I was checking out some Kradam fanfic and I happen to stumble upon this style. I took it as an inspiration and boom. Here it is. This is where your review comes in. I take request couples. I do absolutely anything because I'm a crazy bitch.

* * *

_Italics for England_

**Bold for America**

RING

RING

RING

"**Hello?"**

"_What now you Git?"_

"**Why didn't you pick up on the first ring?"**

"_Because unlike you I'm busy"_

"**Busy doing what?"**

"…_."_

"…**."**

"_THINGS! Why are you even asking me?"_

"**Nothing. Just curious."**

_[/sigh] "why did you call?"_

"**I missed you"**

"_Then go home so you could see me"_

"**I can't"**

"_Why the bloody hell not?"_

"…"

"_Where are you?"_

"…"

_[/Roll eyes] "You're in Mcdonalds again aren't you?"_

"…"

"_ALFRED!"_

**[/quivers] "…Yes. Yes I am. Sorry bout ditching you in bed this morning"**

_[/eye twitches] "No need to say sorry you Git. You're not sleeping in the bed tonight"_

"**But Iggy!"**

"_No buts you, Idiot!"_

"**But I was planning to do something special for us tonight"**

"_Then I guess you have to do that on your own now, don't you?"_

"**But Iggy, we're going to try your fantasies next"**

"…"

"**Iggy?"**

"_Fine."_

"**I knew you wouldn't deprive me of sex"**

"_Just hurry back home you bloody little idiot"_

"**I can't"**

"_Why the fuck not?"_

"**Because I ordered the biggest burger they had, I'm supposed to fi-"**

"_Yeah, yeah, yeah whatever"_

**[/munches over the phone]**

"_Why did you call?"_

"**Mpf? Mpfecause impf mpfiss mpfyou"**

"_What?"_

**[/gulps] "Because I miss you"**

"_Yeah… whatever"_

"**What are you doing now?"**

"_Lying on the bed"_

"**What are you wearing?"**

"_For God's sake Alfred, we're not having phone sex"_

"**Aww… Why not?"**

"_Because you're in a fast food diner you stupid git!"_

"**And so…?"**

"_AND SO?"_

"**And… so…?"**

"_And so you'll be all hot and bothered then someone might notice you. There are kids in there you moron!"_

"**Oh yeah… thanks for reminding me"**

_[/rolls eyes]_

"**Want me to bring you home anything?"**

"_No thank you, I'd rather eat my own meal than chunk down 45 pounds of cholesterol from that murder factory"_

"**Suit yourself. They have this killer fries"**

"_Yes. Exactly. Killer."_

"…"

"_Don't order anymore."_

"**But I… But I need more"**

"_Shut up you bloody git! You should maintain your weight. I'm not planning on going out with someone who has a dolphin in his belly"_

"**I work out Iggy, calm your beeswax"**

"_Whatever. Just don't order anymore"_

"**Okay."**

"…"

"_Alfred? Still there?"_

**Background : Yeah. I'll have two cheeseburgers and a large cola. Thanks.**

"_Didn't I told you not to order anymore?"_

"**What? What are you talking about...? PSSSH. I'm about to leave. I'm already starting my engine see, VROOOM"**

"_That's it. I'm hanging up."_

"**No, no, Iggy wait!"**

"_What now?__!"_

"**Don't hang-up yet. I'm lonely I need someone to talk to."**

"_Why don't you talk to your cheeseburgers and large coke?"_

"**C'mon Iggy, we both know you can't talk to inanimate things."**

"_Really? I didn't know. Thanks for enlightening me."_

"**Hey… Do I hear sarcasm? You don't have to be that rude Iggy."**

"_Aww… Did I offend the Mcdonald's geek?"_

"**Okay. That is just simply insulting Iggy. That actually hurts"**

_[/Rolls eyes]_

"**Hey!"**

"_I'm hanging up.."_

"**Yeah sure go ahead. See if I care."**

"_Okay. Bye!"_

"**Ha! As if you're going to—"**

DISCONNECTED

"**Hello?... Hello?... Iggy?"**

RING

"_WHAT?"_

"**Why'd you hang up?" [/munch]**

"_You really have to ask?"_

"**MPFYEAH"**

"_Could you stop doing that?"_

"**GULP. Doing what?"**

"_That."_

"**What?"**

"_I'm hanging up."_

"**Wait. No. Wait."**

"_WHAT THE BLOODY HELL NOW?"_

"**Do you want anything? Fries? Hotdogs? Pie?"**

"_No. GOODBYE."_

"**wait Iggy. Love you!"**

"…"

"…"

"_I love you too. Go home! NOW!"_

"**Wh—"**

"_I MISS YOU TOO!"_

DISCONNECTED.

Alfred stared at his phone. Smiling cheekily to himself he took another bite on his burger.

"Sir. Do you those cheeseburgers for here or to go?"

"You know what? I want to go home. So… Let me have that for to go"

"Alright"

* * *

**A/N: ** Ha! I conquered your entire eight minutes! Sorry if the quotation marks raped your eye. This is a phone conversation. Not really much too it actually. REVIEWS?


	2. Germany and N Italy

**Title : **Then again, it's just a phone call

**Ratings: **May go up to M. I suggest you wait till I raise the ratings. [/Yes. I copy-paste-ed this from my last entry]

**A/N : **This is easier to update than my Cinderella boy. Anyway. Thanks for your kindness! Keep on rocking!

_Italics for Italy  
_**Bold for Germany**

RING

RING

RING

"**Uh… is this thing on? Oh… Okay. You have reached Ludwig's voice mail, just leave your message after the beep"**

DISCONNECTED

RING

RING

RING

"**Uh… is this thing on? Oh… Okay. You have reached Ludwig's voice mail, just leave your message after the beep"**

DISCONNECTED

RING

RING

"**Hello?"**

"_Ve~ Doitsu! Finally! I thought you'd never answer your phone!"_

"**Italia? Why are you calling?"**

"_Ve~ I forgot"_

**[/sigh] "Is it okay if I hang up now? I'm kind of busy wi—"**

"_Ah~ I remember now!" [/Clanking background]_

"_My pan handle broke Doitsu! I can't make pasta without it!"_

"**And… I'm concern about this because…?"**

"_Ve~ I'm coming over to your house!"_

**[/grimace] "For what?"**

"_Ve~ to cook pasta!"_

"**Italia, not right now I'm very busy"**

"…"

"**Italia?"**

"…_."_

"**Are you still there?"**

"…"

"**It's not disconnected. Italia?"**

"…"

"_Ve~ Doitsu! Why did you call again? I said I was coming over to your place. We could talk once I get there"_

"**Actually Italia, you never hung up."**

"…"

**[/annoyed] "Italia?"**

"…"

**[/ANNOYED]**

"_Ve~ Doitsu! My car is gone! Pick me up__!"_

"**How can it be gone?"**

"_It's not here."_

"**I can't pick you up. I have a lot of things to do"**

"…"

"**Italia?"**

_[/sob]_

"**I-Italia?"**

"_Doitsu doesn't want to see me?"_

"**N-no. N-not that I don't it's just—"**

"_WAAAAAAHHHH…."_

"**Italia? Are you crying? Stop crying. You got it all wrong. It's not that I don't want to see you"**

_[/sniffle] "So you do?"_

"**Yeah. It's just that I have a lot of work to finish"**

"…"

"**Italia?"**

"_Oops… sorry. Dropped my phone. So you're going to pick me up?"_

"**I told you I can't"**

"_WAAAAAAAHHH…"_

"**Italia stop it"**

"_WAAAAAAAHHH…"_

"**Italia"**

"_WAAAAAAAHHH…"_

**[/sigh] "Fine. I will"**

"_Ve~ Excellent then!"_

"**Soon as I finish my work"**

"_WAAAA—"_

"**FINE fine, just… don't cry."**

_[/sniffle] "Hurry up Okay?"_

**[/groan] "Yes. I guess I have to leave my work"**

"…"

"**Italia, I'm hanging up"**

"_NO!"_

"**W-why? Is something wrong?"**

"_I want to hear Doitsu's voice."_

**[/Blush]"Ah, Okay."**

"_Ve~ I miss you!"_

**[/clears throat] "I missed you too."**

"…"

"…"

"_Ve~ could you bring some Gelato while you're on your way?"_

**[/groan] "Italia. I thought you're making pasta?"**

"_Ve~ I change my mind, I want Gelato instead!"_

"**Then what is the point of me going there?"**

"…"

"**Italia?"**

"_Huh?"_

**[/rolls eyes] "What was the point of me going there?"**

"_To bring me Gelato!"_

**[/sigh]**

"_Ve~ Doitsu? Are you still there?"_

"**Yes I am"**

"_Where are you now?"_

"**Driving. Which I really shouldn't do while I'm on the phone but you refused to let me hang up"**

"_Ve~ Is Doitsu bothered?"_

"**I…"**

"_Ve~?"_

"**I…"**

"…"

**[/deep breath of defeat. Who could resist Italy?] "No…"**

_[/lightens up] "Ve~ I'm so happy!"_

**[/sighs]**

"_Don't forget my Gelato!"_

"**I won't"**

"_Hurry up Doitsu!"_

"**I can't exactly let my car fly."**

"_Ve~ I love flying cars"_

"**Italia. I'm stopping for your Gelato so I'm hanging up."**

"_Ve~ Okay. Call me back!"_

Two Minutes Later…

RING

RING

**"Hello?"**

"_Doitsu"_

"**Yes Italia?"**

"_You never called back."_

"**I'm still in the store."** Background: That'll be 10.99 please

"_Ve~ Doitsu… Who was that?"_

"**The cashier"**

"…"

"**I got your Gelato Italia"**

"…"

"**Italia?"**

"…"

"**Italia…?"**

_[/sob]_

"**W-why are you crying? I got your gelato. I'm on my way"**

"_Ve~ Doitsu is with another woman"_

"**Italia—"**

_[/sobs]_

"**Italia… I'm not with another woman. That was only a cashier attendant."**

**[/sobs] "France-nii-chan said Doitsu likes women. Italia is not a woman"**

"**Italia…"**

"_Doitsu's cheating on me"_

"**No I'm not. I was only paying her—"**

"_You're paying a prostitute? Waaaaaaaa…!"_

"**For the Gelato"**

"_Ve~?"_

"**I told you she's a cashier attendant"**

"_So… Doitsu isn't cheating on me?"_

"**No. Of course not"**

_[/sniffle] "Ve~ I love Doitsu!"_

**[/Blush]**

"…"

"**I love you too"**

_[/lightens up] "Ve~ then that means Doitsu won't look at other women or men?"_

**[/sigh] "Italia, you're the only… guy I love. And no woman can satisfy me like you do."**

"_I'm so happy doitsu!"_

"**No I should be the happy one. I have you"**

"…"

"**Italia?"**

"_Ooopss. Sorry, I dropped my phone again. What was that?"_

**[/annoyed] "Nevermind. Where are you anyway? Why do you keep dropping your phone?"**

"_Ve~ I don't know"_

**[/sigh]**

"_Doitsu? You're taking too long."_

"**I'm about to get there"**

"_Ve~ Good! Bring the Gelato okay?"_

"**I will."**

"_Ve~ Doitsu?"_

"**Yes Italia?"**

"_Touch me when you get here okay?"_

**[/blush. Straightforward Uke. LOL] "Uhh…. Italia"**

"_Ve~?"_

"**I don't think we should. It's high noon"**

"_Ve~ Doitsu doesn't want me?"_

"**No, no, no. Not That I don't but… don't you think it's a little too early."**

"_Ve~ No."_

**[/sigh]**

"_We could try BDSM"_

**[/shocked. Frozen.]**

"_Doitsu?"_

"**I-Italia? Are you serious?"**

"_Ve~ yes… France-nii-chan says we should cause it's fun!"_

Germany's Inner thoughts : God bless you France

"**Okay."**

"_Ve~ Hurry up Doitsu, I'm bored."_

"…"

"_Doitsu?"_

DISCONNECTED

"Ve? What happened?" Italy blinked as he stared at his phone, wondering why Germany had hung up. Shrugging it away, the brunette Italian dove right into his couch and lied down. Placing his arms on his forehead he stared up to the ceiling, almost sleepy. But before he could even close his sweet little eyes a loud bang emanated from the door. The giddy Italian knew who it was. With great excitement he went over to the blonde visitor, greeting him affectionately.

"Ve! Doitsu! You came!"

The German had a lewd smirk upon his face.

"How could I miss your offer?"

"Did you bring the Gelato?" Italy asked with full curiosity.

Germany replied, this time, with a low husky voice that made the Italian shiver unexpectedly, "Yes, But I have a better use for this"

"Ve~ Really?"

"Really."

"Ve~ Doitsu… why are you in your military uniform? And what's with the riding crop?"

**A/N :**__I'm going to leave it to your perverted minds to predict what'll happen next. Anyway, I need opinions. Who do you think should 'Make love' on the phone? Any suggestions? Was that question a bit too randy? Okay then… anyway… sorry I raped your eyes with Italy's 'Ve~' I just had to do it. My jaw got tired from saying it over and over again. .


	3. Spain and Romano

**Title : **Then again, it's just a phone call

**Ratings: **May go up to M. I suggest you wait till I raise the ratings. [/Yes. I copy-paste-ed this from my last entry]

**A/N:** I have no contribution whatsoever to Hetalia so I don't own the rights to it. I am simply borrowing it for sheer fun and pleasure for readers. And also cause it's a weekend and I'm bored.

_Italics for Romano_

**Bold for Spain**

RING.

"**Hello?"**

"_Why'd you pick up?"_

"**It rang, so naturally I would."**

DISCONNECTED.

RING

RING

RING

"**Hello?"**

"_What took you so long to pick up?"_

"**Are you sick Romano?"**

"_No. Bastard, why would you think that?"_

"**Well for some reason I think you are because you're scolding me for nothing."**

DISCONNECTED

RING

"_What tomato bastard? WHAT?"_

"**Well you call me then tell me I answer quickly, I let it ring thrice you tell me I wasn't answering quickly, then you hang up on me, I safely assume you're sick… I'm going there."**

"_Nononononononono! DON'T! Don't or I'll castrate you."_

[/sigh] **"Okay, well, how can I help you then?"**

"…_."_

"**Romano?"**

"…_."_

"**Are you still there?"**

"_Y-yeah, what?"_

"**I was asking if there's something I can help you with."**

[/mumbling]

"**What? Don't muffle your voice I thought I alrea—"**

"_I said JUST STAY ON THE PHONE I WANT TO HEAR YOUR VOICE!"_

[/smile]** "Really?"**

"_You're pushing it, bastard."_

"**Well it isn't often that I get to hear that from you, mi tomatito."**

"_Jerk."_

"**So are you sick?"**

"_Huh?"_

"**Are you sick?"**

"_No…_ [/sneeze] _sort of"_

"**Have you eaten anything?"**

"_Yeah, I'm not an idiot you know."_

[/laugh] **"Yes I know. Drank your medicine?"**

"_Stop treating me like a damn child I know when to drink my [/sneeze] [/wheeze] medicine"_

"**Want me to sing you a Spanish lullaby, mi amor? That always makes you feel better"**

"_NO! I'm not a fucking baby anymore, asshole!"_

"…"

"_Antonio? Spain? Are you there?"_

"**Yes, yes… "**

"_FINE!"_

[/confused] **"What?"**

"_Sing me a lullaby!"_

"**You're not a baby anymore, remember?"**

"_Testa de merda! You can go rot in a sack now!"_

[/laughs] **"Alright, Alright, I will sing you a lullaby,  
**_Pajarito que cantas en la laguna,__  
__no despiertes al niño que está en la cuna.__  
__Ea! La Ea!__  
__Ea,la naná!__  
__Duermete lucerito de la mañana, de la mañana._"

"…"

"**Mijo?"**

"…"

"**Mi amor?"**

"…"

DISCONNECTED

RING

RING

RING

RING

"**Si, Hello?"**

"_BASTARDO! Why did you hang up? Moreover, why did you let it ring for FOUR times?"_

"**I thought you were sleeping so I let you rest"**

"_Merda."_

"**Watch your mouth, pajarito"**

"_Don't call me a little bird bastard"_

"**Well you are,"**

"_NO"_

"**You're my little bird"**

[/Blush_] "Jerk."_

"**Are you feeling okay now?"**

"_No, I feel like a butt."_

"**Oh? What does that feel like?"**

"_It feels like a butt… I don't know, don't ask me"_

"**Aren't you the one feeling like it?"**

"_Change topic"_

"**Alright, are you sure it's okay for you to stay up like this?"**

"_Yes. Of course! It's only like… 12:32 A.M.,_ [/stifle yawn] _why are YOU still up?"_

"**Well, because they're doing a marathon on Spanish drama."**

"_Gay."_

"**You used to enjoy watching them with me, mijo"**

[/blush] _"I do not. Stop making up shit like that!"_

"**It's true isn't it?" [/smile]**

"_Nu-uh~"_

"**Denying makes it all the more hilarious"**

"_CHE PALLE!"_

[/laugh]

"…"

"…"

"Spain?"

"**Yeah?"**

"_Can you answer me honestly?"_

"**Yes, of course, you know I never go the other way around"**

"_NEVERMIND"_

"**Aww… come on! I wanna hear it!"**

"_NO!"_

"**Rooommaaannnoo"**

"_Whining won't work, bastard."_

"**You're killing me with the suspense"**

"_NONONONONO!"_

"**But… but… but…"**

"_SHUT UP!"_

"**Okay, I guess if you don't want to tell me I don't mind"**

"_BASTARD! You weren't supposed to give up! You were suppose to force me to tell you"_

"**I was?"**

"_Seriously, you're starting to become lenient."_

"**I am?"**

"_Stop diverting the issue at hand!"_

"**I'm not"** Aren't you the one doing it?

"…"

"**What was your question?"**

"_FINE! I'm going to tell you [mumble]sheesh, such a pushy person[/mumble] but listen because I don't_ plan on repeating."

"**Si!"**

[/blush] _"I-if… if Austria…would have g-given you Italy back then… North Italy… I mean… w-would you exchange me for him?"_

"…"

"_Spain?"_

"…"

"_Don't tell me you're really going to."_

"…"

"_I can't take this silence! Just tell me already! If yes then… then… JUST FREAKING TELL ME ALREADY!"_

"…"

[/about to cry] _"Just tell me damn it! See if I ca—"_

"**Not even for the world, Romano"**

[/blush] _"…"_

"**It's true"**

[/still blushing] _"Bastard"_

"**Hey… Romano, are you sleepy?"**

"_No."_

"**Want me to sing you another lullaby?"**

"_QUITITWITHTHELULLABYSALREADY!"_

**[/chuckle] "Alright, alright…"**

"…"

"**Ne, Romano"**

"_What?"_

"**Te amo"**

[/blush]_ "…"_

"…"

"_I'm going to bed"_

"**Alright… good night."**

DISCONNECTED.

Romano stared idly at his phone, colored amply like his country's flag. He sported the usual scowl as per usual, but nonetheless, blissfully happy. He sighed, throwing his phone to the side, landing back side up revealing a sticker picture of Spain and a turtle perched on his brunette head. The Italian pulled his comforter, trying desperately to cover from the cold. With one last sneeze he mumbled…

"I'm sorry I can never tell you this personally…Sei l'amore della mia vita."

Spain, now crouched down to the door listening intently to what the Italian was saying in his bed chambers, couldn't help but smile, pocketing his phone and marching off to his own room. "I'll wait for the day you have the courage to tell me, pajarito" he whistled happily, continuing to watch another episode of 'Voglio stare con te per sempre'.

**A/N: **First to request a pairing... I shall do that next.


	4. Austria and Prussia

A/N: As requested, here's a PrussiaXAustria phone conversation.

_Italics for Austria_

**Bold for Prussia**

RING

RING

RING

"**Hey specs! Why'd you call? I wa—"**

"_Let's break-up"_

"**W-what? T-that's not a very funny joke specs"**

"_Yeah? Well it's not a joke. I'm hanging up"_

DISCONNECTED

"**Hello? HELLO? SPECS?"**

RING

RING

RING

RING

"_If you wish to leave a message then do so after the beep"_

"**SPECS! This is not cool! Not cool at all… At least tell me what I did to upset you that much!"**

RING

RING

RING

RING

"_If you wish to leave a message then do so after the beep"_

"**I'm sorry, whatever I did, and I doubt it was that bad… sorry"**

RING

RING

RING

RING

"_If you wish to leave a message then do so after the beep"_

"**Okay, so maybe it was THAT bad since you haven't responded to any one of my messages."**

RING

RING

RING

RING

"_If you wish to leave a message then do so after the beep"_

"**Roderich Edelstein I'm dying here! At least tell me what I did!"**

RING

RING

RING

RING

"_If you wish to leave a message then do so after the beep"_

"**Answer the freaking pho—"**

"_STOP LEAVING MESSAGES!"_

"**Well first tell me why you want to break up with me"**

"_Figure it out on your own you unfeeling __bastard__!"_

"**Just tell me already, you owe me an explanation"**

"_I said FIGURE IT OUT!"_

"**We're not going anywhere with yelling at each other"**

"_I hate you"_

"**I know… we've established that"**

_[/silent sob] "…"_

"**H-hey… no need to tear up specs, that's so not you"**

"_What do you know about me?"_

"**A lot Specs, a lot"**

"_Really?"_

"**Yes, because I'm so awesome that way"**

"_Haha, don't make me laugh, you don't even know why I'm mad at you."_

"**Well, no matter how awesome I am, I am not freaking omniscient, although I'm about to get there—"**

"_Stop it. I don't want to talk to you anymore"_

"**So… hang up then"**

"_I will!"_

"**Go ahead!"**

"…"

"**Hey specs… I know you're still there"**

"…"

"**This is stupid, tell me please? There! The great ore-sama begged. Happy?"**

"_NEIN!"_

"**What do I have to do to make you tell me?"**

"_Nothing. Because you need to figure it out."_

**[/exasperated sigh] "Look, specs, I love you, so we have to work this out… tell me"**

_[/blush] Gil's straight-forward ain't he? "J-just think about it for a minute"_

"**Okay."**

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"**Okay I got nothing."**

_[/irritated] "You didn't even try"_

"**I DID! Just tell me already"**

DISCONNECTED

"**Scheiße****"**

RING

RING

"**The awesome me does not beg Austria… but for you… Please… please… please… tell me"**

_[/hardly breathing] [/flustered] "Fine…"_

**[/smile]**

"_It's just that… today… I-I came across Herakles and Kiku"_

**[/expectant] "Yeah…?"**

"_Well… I saw them holding hands"_

"**So? We do that too"**

_[/blush] "It's not that you daft Albino!"_

"**Then what?"**

"_I talked to them… well, truth be told, they were the first to approach me. And… and…"_

"**And…?"**

"_Greece introduced Japan as his lover…"_

"…"

"_With no hesitation…"_

"…"

"… _Are you still there?"_

**[/laugh] "That's it? That's the reason? You're breaking up with me because Greece and Japan are** **dating? [/burst out laughing] [/long pause] Oh wait… You're breaking up with me because Greece and** **Japan are dating?"**

DISCONNECTED

RING

"_You insensitive jerk!"_

"**Specs… what do you mean by your little story?"**

"_I want you to introduce me too! I just noticed today that you never really introduce me to your_ _friends— or to anybody for that matter!"_

"**What? Francis and Antonio? They know you already."**

"_Not that you idiot"_

"**Then what…?"**

"_You never tell them we're dating"_

"…"

"…"

"**Oooh…"**

"…"

"**Is that it?"**

"_Ja"_

"**seriously? That's it?"**

"_It's not a small thing Gilbert. It's a big thing"_

"**Yes I know… do you want me to tell them now?"**

_[/blush]_

"'**Cause I could tell them now, actually, I could tell the whole world now…"**

_[/blush]_

"**What you want Specs… what you need, though it'll kill me, I will do everything you want me to do… you** **could've told me before, I would shamelessly parade you to the world"**

_[/scarlet overload] "I-idiot. Of course I wouldn't tell you that, you have to do that on your own"_

"**I feel it unnecessary to do so"**

"_WHY?"_

"**Doesn't the hickeys prove otherwise? And the fact that I hold hands with you despite the** **unawesomeness of it all"**

"… _Gilbert…"_

"**Plus the nights that I spend in your house,"**

_[/starting to get pissed] "… Gilbert…"_

"**The fact that I know your ero zone and bluntly point it out at meetings that I'm not welcomed in,"**

_[/mother of all annoyed] "… Gilbert…"_

"**The fact that we spend an ungodly time in the washroom and coming back together with you** **disoriented and me with the awesome afterglow"**

_[/about to reconsider if he loved Gilbert enough to not hang-up] "… Gilbert…"_

"**Plus the—"**

"_ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT! I get it… just… just stop"_

"**so… we're going out again?"**

_[/blush] "… Eh… yes."_

"**AWESOME! I knew you love me too much to break up with me specs"**

"…"

"**So… this is where I go to your place and we do a very wild make-up sex right?"**

_[/BLUSH] "You should really stop watching porn"_

"**Yeah… well, if it's not you it's my collection"**

"_Excuse me?"_

"**Gee… Specs, calm down, it's not like I'm cheating on you with my collection"**

"_Well, technically, you are!"_

"**Really specs? Really?"**

"_Do you want to break up again?"_

"**NONONONO! Kidding! You're so unawesome"**

"_Well excuse me for being the logical one"_

"**It's not logical to think that one is cheating on the other by watching hot, wet—"**

"_GILBERT!"_

"**Would it help if I tell you the things I watch are our videos?"**

"_GILBERT!"_

"**Yeah… I kinda recorded a few"**

"_YOU DID WHAT NOW?_

"**And I kind of gave a few copies to Elizaveta—BUT only because she asked me nicely with her big and** **recently upgraded frying pan"**

"_I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU! Video-taping us… doing… doing that"_

"**It was a personal collection specs, nothing to it really"**

"_I demand you to burn those this instant!"_

"**I have a tape of the time we role-played M and S"**

"…"

"**Specs?"**

_[/blush] "Keep that… But throw everything else!"_

"**No fair!"**

"_Gilbert!"_

"**Fine…"**

"…"

"**Where are you by the way?"**

"_Market"_

"**Seriously? YOU're in the market?"**

"_Yeah… What of it?"_

"**Well the fact that you're breaking up with me in a market lowers my Gilbert meter of awesomeness"**

"_Can't a man break up with his lover while buying Senfgurken?"_

"**You are buying pickles while dumping me? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU"**

"_I believe in saving time GILBERT"_

"**So breaking up with me and doing your grocery is right on your schedule?"**

"_Yes."_

"**The awesome me won't stand for that!"**

"_Yeah well the 'awesome' you is at fault so don't go Che Guevarra on me"_

"**SHHEEEESSSHHHEEEEE Specs, you really are a GIRL aren't you?"**

"_E-excuse me?"_

"**Throwing yourself on drama mode for that"**

"_I value our relationship Gilbert and if you have the decency to understand that then just .trap,_ _Capisci?"_

"**Like I don't value it!"**

"_From the way I see it… you're only in it for the sex"_

**[/not amused] "Don't flatter yourself Specs… you hardly move. I have to make you drink those** **aphrodisiac pills to get you going"**

_[/blush] "Gilbert! Don't say something like that in Public!"_

"**I'm not in Public I'm in my room, calm down"**

"_You are as perverse as you are conceited"_

"**Whaaaatt? Its true isn't it? And that's beside the point. The point was it's more than the sex… because** **if it was only that I would've hitched a ride of Francis' molestation bandwagon. If you're forgetting, I will** **repeat, I LOVE YOU ENOUGH TO UNDRESS AND SAY YES TO ANYTHING YOU WANT ME TO DO. Perverted** **or wholesome"**

_[/blush] "Idiot…"_

"**Hey while you're there, buy me Heineken in can please"**

"_No… I am concerned enough for your well-being to buy you beer"_

"**Specs… I've been drinking since I can remember… Yet I'm still here, just buy me four cans—"**

"_I'm trying to keep you around long enough, bastard! It's bad as it is that you're not a nation anymore, I_ _don't need for you to kill yourself any further"_

**[/blush] "… Wow Specs… I'm touched"**

_[/flustered] "S-shut up"_

"**So… what now?"**

"_I don't know."_

"**Do you… want to watch that?"**

"_NO! Good heavens why would you ask me such a thing?"_

"**Well I'm sorry Mr. 'I-pretend-to-be-decent-but-I-hit-****my****-Gilbert-with-a-riding-crop-when-we're-at-it-cause-that's-my kink', But I thought you'd want that"**

_[/blush] "You are very lewd. Stop hanging out with Francis"_

"**Like you aren't… you made me wear my war coat once and made me parade around the whole house** **with just… that!"**

_[/blush] "You could've said no!"_

"**You know me, I say Yes… I'll undress, everything to make you happy"**

_[/can hardly contain heartbeat] "Idiot"_

"**Hey specs…"**

"_What?"_

"**Want me to come over your house later?"**

"_NO!"_

"**Oh okay…"**

"_Well… I must hang-up now, see you tomorrow!"_

"**Bye Specs! Ich Liebe Dich!"**

DISCONNECTED

"**He hang-up" [/background: AWWWWWW]**

RING

RING

"_Ich liebe dich so sehr, __Ohne dich kann ich nicht leben! Please come to my home later and make me feel_ _better"_

DISCONNECT

"And this is why I love Specs"

The silverette German smiled, pocketing his phone and grabbing a coat from the rack, "Hey west! I won't be home till tomorrow, don't wait up for me!" He shouted from the living room as he was preparing to leave. With a lewd smirk he pocketed a small pink bottle labeled _"L'amour"_ in fancy cursive letters. He recalled France's exact words as he gave the vial to him,

"_Spray this on both of you while making 'l'amour' to each other and I guarantee a very 'frisky' result"_

Austria was going to have it rough whether he liked it or not. As he walked out, he grabbed his video camera, what? Austria told him to throw away the old videos; he never said anything about recording another one.

* * *

**A/N: **So yeah… this one was rushed… :/ Thanks a lot reader who I shall not name. You flooded me with an update and now I'm forced to so please just stop.

Anywho… I enjoyed making this despite the rant so… I hope you enjoyed reading as well. I want your opinion…. Pretty please review? It's what keep Authors writing not just favoriting the story… but also reviewing.


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